Ginger passed away the morning of November 9th, 2013

Ginger will be missed by all of us.

Memorial planned for March 2013 …

Thanks, everyone, for your offers to help with the dinner the night the Feffer “kids” will be here for the memorial for Edith and Mel. I really appreciate all the helping hands! So far, I’ve got offers to help clean and/or cook from Perry, Laurel & Liah, Norma, Elisabeth, Betsey, Becky, Ann & John, and Donell. Do let me know if I’ve missed you! As the date nears, I’ll post a sign up for the dinner so we can get a better sense of how much food to prepare.

I’d like to offer cooking the main dish for the dinner, perhaps a hearty vegetarian stew, or bean soup. If others would like to take on another portion of the meal — salad, dessert, bread, etc. — that would be great. Just let me know. Since this is celebrating two important lives of our community, perhaps we could cover it from the Community Life budget? If not, I’ll still make the main dish and we can do pot luck for all the rest.

Also, Julia has graciously offered to open her house too, so that the Feffer kids can renew their memory of their parents’ home. This might be an informal pre-gathering before the dinner.

Stay tuned for details come March.

Barb

Irma S. remembers…

Finally my post. I’ve been having a hard time – remembering my long time friends who have passed away-Edith being the most recent.  I was probably the first at Arcadia to welcome Edith and Mel. When I heard that a couple from Tenafly,NJ were interested- my heart fluttered-Tenafly being halfway between where I lived and where I worked. Then learned that Edith had substituted in the school where I was the librarian,but I hadn’t ever met her. She knew the teachers I worked with -forming a bond between us. And I,the last to have a bond with her at Carolina Meadows,where I visited with her very frequently, . We talked of many things and had a  close connection with Arcadia while living here. And yes,we also visited her in Vermont.How fortunate she was to have that retreat.

Nancy S. remembers “Grandma Edith”

Between December 1995 and May 1996 we lost my mom to cancer, Jesse was born, and we moved into our Arcadia house.   Edith, newly arrived from New Jersey, sat with my mom in the last months of her life. When we all moved into our houses, Mel and Edith would stop by and ask if they could take baby Jesse along when they went for their walk.  Edith would put her Walkman headphones on Jesse in his stroller and play him classical music.

We called her Grandma Edith and we will be forever grateful that she was our neighbor at exactly the time that we needed her.

Barbara F. writes…

Dear neighbors,

 

I’m loving reading all these loving memories of Edith!  It helps ease the grief, for sure.

 

Edith was actually one of my very first Arcadian friends.  I got to know her as I joined her daily walk to McDougle when we first moved here, mid-way into Garrett’s kindergarten year.  It’s amazing to think of the range of ages in our Arcadian offspring who have had that precious time with Edith each school day!

 

I had just sent her a copy of my new book last week, hoping it would arrive in time for her 90^th birthday.  While I did not suspect, from Nancy’s note, that she would be reading it, sharing ideas about psychology was one of the many ways that Edith and I connected over the years.  She, like my Jeff, had a virtual honorary degree in psychology from having decades of dinner table conversation with the psychology professor in the family.  Although I never met Mel, she shared with me a number of his books, so I’ve come to appreciate him as well.

 

In her last years in Arcadia, Jeff and I had Edith over for dinner every week.  Those were great extended family dinners for Garrett, Crosby, Jeff and me.  She would often come over with a new children’s book to read to the boys while we finished cooking and sipped wine (Edith loved a good red!).  We often talked politics and one of my most cherished memories of Edith is canvassing together for Obama in 2008, with her and our boys.  Garrett remembers watching parts of the exciting election returns with her.

 

Edith’s son, Jed Feffer, called me yesterday to tell me that they received and appreciated my book, although not before Edith passed away.  He also shared that he and his two brothers (John and Andrew) would like to come down to Arcadia for a memorial for Edith, and for Mel too (he could not recall whether there had been a memorial event for Mel, and I could not help there, since that was before my time… does anyone know?  Jed of course knew about Mel’s bench, and has even written a poem about it…).

 

The date they are most considering is March 23, or sometime that weekend.  This is yet tentative, but seems to be the date that works best for all three busy brothers. He will let us know once they confirm with each other on the date.  He’s envisioning a Common House event and perhaps a “memory book” in which we could share these and other remembrances of his mom (and dad).

 

More details to come in time.

 

Warmly,

 

Barb

John M. remembers…

When I think of Edith, the word “determined” comes to my mind and will not leave. Looking up the meaning of the ancient Anglo-Saxon name Edith, I expected to find “she who will not be deterred.” What I did find was that an early namesake, St. Edith of Wilton, was said to have confronted the devil after her death. “A week after she died, Edith appeared in glory to her mother and told her that the Devil had tried to accuse her, but that she had broken his head.^[8]“

I would say that our Edith’s strength of determination exceeded any woman I have known as a neighbor or friend, yet this slights her because it seems to me that she had transcended categories like mere gender decades ago. So, I see this person we call “Edith” trekking across patches of icy Arcadian walkways, then remaining self-reliant after falling on said walkways, also standing to protect her husband’s health from excessive woodstove smoke, and attentively conversing with my children… all with determined focus and graciousness and caring.

Somebody ought to warn the devil to watch out for his head again.

with warm memories,

John

Laurel remembers Edith …

Ditto for Liah. In fact, in response to Nancy S’s message, I wrote Edith a note recalling those early morning walks to school with the children, although I don’t think it made it to her in time. Lovely woman and friend . . . Laurel

“my Julia,” Edith used to say…

More Edith . . . I first met Edith when Jeff C. got us together
at his house to sign papers for me to buy #115. I was touched by her
bravery in managing to move on when she really didn’t want to leave
this house or community, NO,  not for one minute!! Then it turned out
we liked each other and — in time — she began to call me “my Julia”.
No one had called me that since my Nanny left when I was four, and I
felt beyond words, touched. I tend to believe in Ghosts and hope Edith
haunts #115 as much as she wants.   xoxoxo, Julia

Perry M. wonders…

Does anybody have Edith’s granola recipe?  I thought I made the best granola  .Maybe we could havve a breakfast contest.  Perry

Anne replies…

And Edith didn’t like the red climbing roses on her front porch….said it made her house look like a brothel!

 

Anne